Today was long and heartbreaking!

This is from my journal:

Day 18

July 24, 2008

I learned so much about this screwed up country today. A couple of us visited the high school in Zonki today. We were supposed to observe the classes. Instead we were thrown into teaching. I was supposed to observe English classes; not teach them. My first English teacher of the day decided to skip her first class because she was “too busy”. Then she didn’t have class for the 6^th period, so I stapled papers for her… that was boring! Then it was lunch time. The students do not have lunches unless they bring one, and no one has money for that. After lunch we finally went to an English class. I asked the teacher what she had prepared for the students, she said nothing. So she told me to basically get up and teach and I didn’t know what to teach because she didn’t tell me what they were studying, so I went over some verbs, but the students didn’t want to do that. They only get 30 mins for class anyway… and time was up before I knew it. I don’t know how someone can teach a lesson in 30 min… won’t be a good one that’s for sure. So then I went to another English class with the Department Head of English; I figured this would be a better experience. We walked into the class and she told me to teach about indirect, and direct speech. I couldn’t understand what she said first because her English was so poor, and she was the head of the English department. So I stood in front of the class giving different sentences and examples… everyone seemed to understand it pretty well though. I really didn’t know where they were at with their studies… but they definitely were past that, but I didn’t know what to teach- I had no structure to work with. The dep. Head just sat in the corner the whole 30 min and read a book. Then after that I told her I wanted to observe her teach the next class. She wrote 5 sentences on the bored and told the children to find the verb. She never went over anything with them; after 30 min she just was going to leave. They asked her if I could teach them and she asked me what I had to do next; and I asked her if anyone else was coming in to teach them… she said no because there wasn’t enough teachers so they would just sit there. So I said I would teach because no one else was. So the Dep. Head left me to teach by myself. So I asked the students if they liked their last lesson, they said no because it was short and boring. I agreed with them- they thought that was funny. So they asked me if I could go over their last assignment and help them with more sentences. The students are smart, they are just not being challenged. There are no resources for the students: no maps, pens, computers, paper, text books, good teachers, food, etc.

I talked to the dep, head, Anna, for a long time after that class. She wanted to ask me about high school in America. I told her a lot, she was shocked with the salary difference. She gets paid half of what a starting teacher in America gets paid- and she is a Department Head. So the system is failing everyone, teachers, administrators, students… no one cares about anyone else. We asked the teachers to give us lessons plans for tomorrow and they assumed we would just make some up. I would think that a teacher would have her week planned out and ready to teach. But the teachers are so unprepared and do not even teach part of the time. We tried to tell them countless times we do not have our degrees yet, we just came to observe. They didn’t understand us, and they teach in English. How can an English teacher teach English but barely able to speak or understand it themselves? Its so frustrating!

Another group of us went to volunteer and observe at the town clinic today. They were thrown into it too. They were asked to do counseling and testing on patients. Its one thing to get your facts wrong in teaching and correct them but its another to play with human lives. You cannot just allow anyone off the street to be a doctor. This whole town needs so much help in all sorts of systems. How are these people supposed to survive with a failing health and education system? Something big has to change. I can see how the people would be able to take this forever, they are going to get angry and do something about it. Its just not human nature to allow this. I can understand how people live so well in the cities, and then just think the townships will eventually go away. People are sick and dieing and need help, and no one wants to help them. Why does it take people half way around the world to come and help these people when theres plenty of people here that could do it, if they got off their high horse and lend a hand. I get so frustrated and I don’t have to live with this, I can go home after this. These people are stuck here, child after child will have to deal with this. There are plenty more people to get sick and die and still not receive the attention they deserve. Who is going to help them? Some sort of authority needs to step in and help these people!

There was also another situation with Mpumi and her family. She has lost 3 family members recently, her mother, brother and uncle I think. Her dad is on his death bed and she tries to take care of her siblings while balancing and education. She is brilliant too. Hospice told VVOCF today that her dead passed. So Jeanne went to check it out and sure enough the man was still alive, in terrible condition, but alive. So Jeanne, Natalie, and Todeso cleaned the house; it smelled awful in there. There was an infestation of rats living in the mattress they slept on, I think they were dead now though. The conditions for this man to live out the last of his life is just terrible. How can someone keep their dignity dieing like that with your family watching? What is Mpumi and her siblings to do. Her family will probably take the house from them. How are they supposed to survive. Nmosa is talking about taking them in but she cant fit anymore children, she doesn’t have the means. The women just has a huge heart and wants to protect them. Who is supposed to protect the children when they are orphaned by AIDS? Who is there for them? Where do they go? Why did MSU have to come in and do something? Why didn’t their own government help? Life just has too many hard things to deal with. Its not fair!